Guilt (freeverse)

a shroud of guilt 

has followed me all my life

of what im guilty of 

i don't know

maybe sins of a past life 

could it be that simple?

so much guilt 

and guilt for nothing

i need to ask for permission

to someone, something

to enjoy myself

and unburden my guilt

the infernal withdrawal to solitude

releasing myself back to nothing

then i escape my guilt

fleeing away from something

but how can i spend a life in nothing?

that is not worth living

i must carry my guilt 

with no remorse

Vile (freeverse)

you pierced your claws

into my flesh

contorting me how you desired

you tore me apart

as you wanted it to be done

i have become a shell for you 

an empty vessel 

for you to fill 

my blood, my flesh

have become the means

for your entertainment 

you've penetrated my world 

you have become my world

without you i am lost 

without you i am nothing

your torture is all i know 

and i can't stop loving you

Late (freeverse)

i'm late

i've overslept

the train, it left without me

i didn't arrive on time

everyone got on 

and i'm just here, sitting on the benches

i guess i'm missing out

they've all gone without me  

the weather is quite nice

it's awfully lonely though 

wonder if it will come round again

maybe then i can get on

and figure what this is all about

 

Slave to Myself (freeverse)

I have strayed away
I have neglected 
The very thing that will make me whole 
I have rejected it, in pursuit of something illusory
Something easier to attain 
Something I can make sense of
I realize this now
That i have been tormenting myself
That it was right in front of me 
But i was blinded 
From the very thing i've wanted
Now the restraints are gone
Pillars of self-induced conflicts have collapsed
I realize now 
My chains have been broken 
I've freed myself
From the maliciousness of myself
Liberated from my constraints 
It was meant to be this way 
I had to suffer
I had to be master and slave 
I had to be in the dark
To be shown the light 
But it's fleeting me
Getting darker
Escaping my grasp as i come closer
And i continue to stop its fruition
Halting its progress
Putting my chains back on
For moments of comfort  
Moments of ease and peace
Moments of obedience
Maybe it isn't the right time
I am still so fractured
Looking for the whole
But i'm too afraid to put the pieces together
I am not ready 
I still must suffer for it
Before i can embrace its beauty 
For it blossoms in suffering 
And i am still a slave 
But now i'm aware of my chains 
And freedom is terrifying 
Though my fate 
is to be free