i fell months ago i thought it stopped but i'm still falling into the abyss i just want to reach the bottom
i fell months ago i thought it stopped but i'm still falling into the abyss i just want to reach the bottom
The main ideology of the book Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky, which the novel is structured on, is the premise that great men achieve their power through a revaluation (or Nietzschian transvaluation) of morality. The idea is that there exists a certain sub-class of people that have gained a higher mode of consciousness then the mass population, who have transcended that population and are capable of rising to great power, this great power is achieved with the accordance of going beyond “good and evil”. There are extraordinary men that are capable of this and then there are ordinary men who can not cross this barrier and infringe on morality to penetrate “evil” to achieve “good”. The men that can pierce through the semblance of morality subjugate themselves to achieving great things and acquiring more dominance and power than their weaker counterparts. A main figure in the book that the protagonist idolizes is Napoleon. Napoleon has soured to higher ranks by liberating himself of the morality of the masses and going beyond what is termed “evil” to achieve his own version of “good”. This act of destroying morality and recreating it for an outcome of a greater “good” strikes the protagonist as a necessity towards greatness and is a common trait that all great people possess. Whether this act is moral or immoral is contigent for it is completely relative and in the confides of what the subject deems it to be and since the subject is acquiring or in possession of power, then the rules of that morality are completely dependant on the subject as they choose to mould it with their power which in turn extends itself towards those power is being transmitted too .
This theory the main protagonist enthralls himself with and inspires him to commit a murder is extremely dangerous. The very idea gives people an avenue to do evil for what they think is the greater good. The protagonist himself fails at achieving his greatness through the act of murder and robbery and this is what plagues him through the entire novel. The fact that he is not the great man he wishes to be or thought he was sends him trickling through despair. The outcome of his action has only led to problems and conflicts in his life. Without the preconceived notion of any good coming out of it, there comes a realization that this theory is far too susceptible to heinous acts for the “good” coming out of it is far too relative towards the individual(s) and the consequences of the actions are unforeseeable.
The greatest evils are done with good intentions.
I do believe that power itself goes beyond good and evil and transcends both to what it deems accordingly. Hitler in WW2 had the very best intentions of doing good for the world by wiping out the jewish population, what he did, he viewed as being a necessary evil for the greater good. History has shown us that an ideology like this can have serious consequences.
Is this truly an ideology? is it a theory that one can take up to achieve power? or is it a necessarily natural action that must be done to acquire power? There is no debate that power in itself is corrupted, that to have power means you have power over the veil that is morality and values, that with it you can create your own values, that you can go above “good and evil”. Throughout time we can make the statement that the ruling morality is one which has been gained from the most power that has acquired it, the victors have written history and have dictated the values placed in our society. The social constructs of our society have been implemented by those who have gained and have access to power which they acquired by transcending that society itself. This coming to power (which is paved with conflicts) is the only way one can achieve power. Crossing barriers and going through these ideological boundaries that construct our society is a necessary component of achieving power.
“Power stands on crooked legs”- Nietzsche
And that corruption also corrupts morality
Should we as ordinary citizens take it upon ourselves to do an evil in order to attain a greater good? Do we have what it takes to go beyond an immoral act for the fruition of a moral one? As the protagonists dream had shown in the end of the novel, if we had such an inclination the whole world would be sprung into chaos, for everyone would think what they are doing is for the good and many evils would take place and the consequences and sequences that would occur are far too out of our control to comprehend. The protagonist was a fool, and he too realized he was a fool, this theory however is not one contrived out of foolishness, it is a part of our reality that does hold truth and it is one that accentuates how unfair and imperfect our world is. There is no easy answer if we can take it upon ourselves to do such actions for the greater good, it is steeped in dependancy and to be authors of the fate of others and events is too much for many of us to bare. We should not however sit back idly and watch as events unfold, we should take action for good because a greater evil can always arise but we must be aware of the ramifications of such actions. The transvaluation of morality and doing “evil” for “good” is a minefield and should not be taken up by anyone but only in extreme circumstances and even then outcomes are not guaranteed. Those who can take it up themselves will either rise through its success and actually do good or fall and become tyrants.
I have strayed away I have neglected The very thing that will make me whole I have rejected it, in pursuit of something illusory Something easier to attain Something I can make sense of I realize this now That i have been tormenting myself That it was right in front of me But i was blinded From the very thing i've wanted Now the restraints are gone Pillars of self-induced conflicts have collapsed I realize now My chains have been broken I've freed myself From the maliciousness of myself Liberated from my constraints It was meant to be this way I had to suffer I had to be master and slave I had to be in the dark To be shown the light But it's fleeting me Getting darker Escaping my grasp as i come closer And i continue to stop its fruition Halting its progress Putting my chains back on For moments of comfort Moments of ease and peace Moments of obedience Maybe it isn't the right time I am still so fractured Looking for the whole But i'm too afraid to put the pieces together I am not ready I still must suffer for it Before i can embrace its beauty For it blossoms in suffering And i am still a slave But now i'm aware of my chains And freedom is terrifying Though my fate is to be free
we analyze it we question it we tear it apart we look deeper but get shallower all this and for what? to lose something and gain nothing but confusion that is our sin to lose something so beautiful oppressing ourselves by our own means leaving ourselves trapped going in circles we can't stop it it's meant to keep going it's meant to keep losing itself continual and insufferable this is the symptom of our condition
and it isn’t meant to be cured
everyday monotony grips cant breath i can but i don't want too i don't want to be here this is not me i cant be here but it is what i've chosen but not truly my choice but it happened so fast it has been done now i am here and i feel possibly the worst feeling i've ever felt it comes as feeling then reasoning gives it meaning it is hopelessness and its gotten a hold of me how did i lose hope? it wasn't my choice it was forced on me to lose but who forced it? the worst pain strikes it was me in ignorance
as i lay i am toiled absolute merciless tension on me i cannot grasp i am swallowed in its embrace in its putrid intoxication in what i have made myself it is all self created but in its suffering i find myself in its suffocation i have lost myself smothered it to death and shown me myself as i lay it all unfolds in front of me as if it were a part of some design the only natural progression that could happen there was no other way
(main inspiration from Spinoza, other than that, this is completely idiosyncratic)
Of Love and Hate
Love and hate are born from mans most fundamental value, the preservation of life. It is through this value that the concepts of ‘good’ and ‘evil’ arise. The basic premise of these concepts, in a primitive sense is; life-furtherance and life threatening. If good is equitable with those things that further and persevere life, then it is also equitable with love because we love things that are good for our life or that we perceive good for it. Bad is therefore things that are bad for our life, and these things we call evil, and we hate evil things because they are a destruction of life. The emotional aspects of love and hate are, joy and sadness. Love itself causes the affect of joy, when we love something we experience joy from it. Hate causes the affect of sadness. Love and hate are both necessary conditions for us to build a system of morals because they formulate what is good and evil through our most fundamental value (preservation of life). We can now deduce that good and evil are the conceptual by-products (only thinking beings can conceive of good and evil) of what we term ‘love’ and ‘hate’, which are affections of the mind and they form emotional by-products, which are joy and sadness. From these by-products, certain affections like greed, envy, jealousy, vengeance etc. are formed. These are all affections caused when we love or hate external things. It is through this I have arrived to the paradigm that excesses of love are what cause all of our problems in life. An excess of love creates greed, pride, lust, and hate creates a reactionary drive (wrath, vengeance, and anger) that tries to eliminate the things that infringe on our love(s). The extremes of love and hate will always inflict us and they will always be detriments to social and individual harmony. The extremes cause the pursuit and overindulgence of desires and the problems that arise when we don’t reach those desires.
Excess of Love
All war and violence is the root cause of love. Love destroys things threatening the preservation of its own self or the thing that emits the joys one loves it for. The drive that initiates the acts of destruction is called hatred. Hatred now becomes a “good” thing, for it negates the existence of the things that are contrary to ones love(s). Love is now something that becomes an “evil” because it destroys things contrary to itself for the sake of itself. The only way love can survive is through hatred, which becomes the pivotal precursor to love. Even love of peace is something that needs a hatred for it to survive because to have peace one needs to destroy the very things that are interfering with peace and become contrary to it and therefore negating any idea of it. Now we can understand that love is a necessity of human nature and hate is a necessary drive, which destroys things that are threatening that love. Love is an affect that brings joy or a more perfected survival for humans and hate is sadness caused by external forces that interfere with that love. It is essential to have both affects working fully for the betterment of our survival. One can have an excess of love that causes even more destructive hate but one can also have an excess of hate that causes love for things that are contrary to that hate (the idea of constructive hate). Therefore we can derive that one has to hate certain things in order to be fully rational with their desires and hate itself has more reason than love does. One has to hate war to not start a war and so on. It is through hatred we can achieve peace, not through love. There are many paradoxes that exist with these terms that we have created for ourselves and it is only the fact that they are human concepts that they are not perfect. I am in no way saying that love is actually “evil” or “bad’, it is a necessity and the conceptualizations of them being good and bad are only the human concepts we have interpreted to them that does not give them any validity of their true essence but gives them more moral ambiguity, we therefore cannot place too much emphasis on their semblances. The externalization of these affects can now be seen for what they really are, but what happens when we love and hate ourselves?
Constructive and Destructive
Love and hate take on a different meaning and two derivatives are formed when we are viewing them from the self (internal) and away from external things (people/and things). When we say “I hate myself” or “I love myself” we view ourselves externally and put the sensations and reprimands of those words either negatively or positively within ourselves. This is the common ideology of the phrases, but there is a secret driving force that is working that seems to be hidden and misunderstood.
Odium Aedificant (Constructive Hate)
Ascent to Greatness
Think of why we become dissatisfied with something and wish to change it, that dissatisfaction creates a drive, which entails an action, this action changes a thing into what the person wants it to become, essentially this hate we feel for the thing at the present time allows us the drive to change the thing and form it into the desirable thing we want it to become in the future. This is what I call “constructive hate”; it is a conscious awareness and dislike of a particular thing that gives us a drive to change it. If we didn’t have this drive emitted by hate, we would see no faults with anything and everything would have the guise of being perfect, this is an absurd reality and if it were a true reality it would lead to our own destruction. We need the drive hatred creates to change the world and ourselves to something more suitable to our own desires and preferences.
If men didn’t hate themselves why would they constantly try to overcome themselves and become greater than what they are? Our desire and drive to do great things and gain more value within all facets of our lives, and our constant will to keep moving forward is in itself the embodiment of how much man hates himself and his current state. It is through mans secret hatred for himself that he achieves great things for himself and for others.
Man is constantly trying to find a reason to love himself; it is when he finds that love through a passage of hatred that he will be truly satisfied and worthy of himself. One must suffer in order to achieve the highest pleasures.
Destructiva Amoris (Destructive Love)
Descent from Greatness
For man to truly love himself, he will have to negate the greatness for which he has the potential of achieving. It is through love man finds no faults but only perfections. This is a state of vanity and is hazardous to mans duties and mind. From this love springs laziness and contempt. This type of love does not produce great men, it stifles progress and gives man a false sense of ideal into which he irrationally becomes enthralled with. When we love something we find perfection within the imperfection of the thing, this creates no drive to change, it is the acceptance of the current state and therefore it negates reaching ideals but is placed with an illusory ideal. Self-love in itself can garner many problems for the individual and it is bound to irrationalities.
Self-love is the crucial step for human fulfilment, it is the reward garnished by the fruitions of constructive hatred. It is through this, man can rationally and truly love himself. He has transcended the things he hates and reached the ideal, now the acceptance of the self can truly and rationally be achieved.
The ideals are placed upon all of us by certain pre-sets within our cultures, social ideologies and personal preferences. They are what we want ourselves to be. Every society and person has a different set of ideals. Ideals are not necessities of human nature; they are contingent to external forces. Everyone seeks for an ideal of himself or herself. All these ideals are virtuous.
The Two Types
There are two types of individual; both types feel a sense of hatred (constructive hate) for themselves. One uses the hatred as a drive to change themselves into what they want to become which is their ideal. Through virtues this individual becomes successful and gains value. The second type feels the hatred and tries to change but is mediocre and weak and therefore abandons the hardships of the change he is trying to manifest. This type brings forth suffering and destructive hatred unto himself and this is when uselessness and depravity manifest which lowers happiness and negatively affects his pursuit of fulfilment, which is the sole pursuit of everyone’s life. One has to have a great amount of hatred for themselves to improve themselves, it is the struggle of life itself, the final reward is love and this love is only available to those who have productively and rationally exhumed the hatred from within themselves.
Throughout all history love and hate have caused all the problems beguiled on mankind. They have caused war, suffering, violence, and death. It is now through our understanding of these conditions that we are aware how crucial they are to our development and preservation. It is only when we superfluously adhere ourselves to them, that they can destroy others and us. With this conclusion I would like to negate all presuppositions on the notions of hate being made some type of enemy we should exterminate and rid ourselves of. Hate is a necessity and it is only through hate we expunge evil itself. Both conditions elicit within us very powerful drives that construct the very foundations needed for our survival. We should all strive to facilitate reasoning and rationality every time we are presented with situations of love and hate and even with positions of good and evil, because in both instances, the outcome can either be for us or against us and it is not always what it seems to be.
The over sexualization of our american culture has smothered sexuality to death. The indulgence of our sexual appetite and the constant consumption of these desires in our everyday lives has normalized sexuality into something that is completely arbitrary and part of the “background” of our lives. This has made it lose all its value, all of the fantasy and everything that made it special. Instead of being a small secret world filled with eroticism and immense pleasure, it has become our entire world which has destroyed it of all sensuality and mystery. It has become so common to see provocative images, phrases, lyrics, clothing etc., and all it furthers to do is ruin all vivacity associated with sex by dulling its stimulus and incorporating it into our full societal ideology which renders it to be too “familiar” and that familiarity makes it meaningless by instilling one ruling meaning and snuffing out the rest till it becomes authoritarian in nature and in a way we have made a tyrant out of sexuality. Sexuality has become oppressive, it is now the main ruler and we are complacent in our oppression, it has taken over our lives, it is not any longer another aspect of being human but it is everything humans are and this leads to nothing but hedonistic degradation and it is one where we are never satisfied because now it’s not about being satisfied when it encompasses our entire world, it is a cycle of constant feeding to the master, its become a monotonous life and we have become puppets to be exploited by our own inherent basic desire without even realizing the exploitation because it has become too deep rooted in our culture.
Sex is no longer a spontaneous enjoyment where the possibility is harbouring on contingency eliciting excitement, it is to be expected and in a way we are forced into it, its act has become necessarily the way it should be, the fantasy is not your own, it has already been manufactured for you, you must comply.
Sex was an escape of the monotony of life and the boring, it has now become part of the monotony of life and the boring and that is a very sad thing.