Month: February 2017

I can see you (freeverse)

i can see you 

you think i'm unaware 

maybe ignorant

of what you have inside

that festers in you 

you show it to others rarely

as it slips through the cracks

but for me 

it's wide open 

i can see you 

i know you try to hide it 

i know the pain it causes you 

i understand you 

you're similar to me

thats why i understand

i also understand why you feel at unease

being near me 

why you avoid me

because i know

i know what the others don't 

theres a part of you that knows

i can see 

right through you 

and you see through me 

that's why we can't be together 

we understand too much

 

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Light (freeverse)

In the dismal dark 
there is a light

it burns
a bright fire 

emits an ethereal warmth 

i find solace within it 
it conveys to me a respite 

a respite of you 

without you i was lost
in the darkness

now i found you 

i hope i don't put you out
i hope i can foster light within you too 

but i've been in the dark so long
i don't know if i can

i will try

if it burns me to a crisp

i will try

you only die 3 times

 

You only die 3 times in your life. Experiencing 2 deaths and dying completely from 1. The first death happens early on in life.

You are innocent, curious, carefree. At first you die from being smothered, suffocated, choked, you die a sad death, oxygen is cut off and you are buried, buried deep, so as not to ever resurface. The world does not want you, you serve it no purpose, you must die, but the body is ready to be revived. Sometimes you can hear its laughter but you smother it out, you silence it, you ignore it. It should be cared for, it should be revered but the world wants it lifeless.

The 2nd death, is different for many. It is when you can’t take it, the world becomes a heavy burden, something revives and takes over, something thats been buried deep, it has now become resurrected, the purity ignites within you again. The purity before the world, that preceded the world. It’s clawing its way back to the surface, climbing for air, to breathe once more, to breath fresh new air. You can’t help but let it take over, to rid yourself of the world, to get back what you lost so prematurely, what you’ve been repressing is coming back full force and its wish is to destroy you. It seeks to end your life, it wants revenge for what you’ve done, for the neglect, the pain, the torture, that you put it through during the years and now you are too weak to stop it. Throughout the years, it has grown in its hatred, for you and for everyone, it’s too powerful for you to control now, you cannot bury it, you cannot smother it any longer. You die slowly and painfully. A new you is born from the carnage but it is a perverted and mutilated form of yourself constructed from decades of decay. You realize it is far too late now, the world has won, you let it win, in your own ignorance, in your cowardice. The world chewed you apart and spit you out.

Years fade into memories, but you’ve forgotten most memories, you’ve forgotten a lot, you’ve even forgotten how to live, to truly be in this world and not be consumed by it. You are now dead, completely.

 

Guilt (freeverse)

a shroud of guilt 

has followed me all my life

of what im guilty of 

i don't know

maybe sins of a past life 

could it be that simple?

so much guilt 

and guilt for nothing

i need to ask for permission

to someone, something

to enjoy myself

and unburden my guilt

the infernal withdrawal to solitude

releasing myself back to nothing

then i escape my guilt

fleeing away from something

but how can i spend a life in nothing?

that is not worth living

i must carry my guilt 

with no remorse