as i lay i am toiled absolute merciless tension on me i cannot grasp i am swallowed in its embrace in its putrid intoxication in what i have made myself it is all self created but in its suffering i find myself in its suffocation i have lost myself smothered it to death and shown me myself as i lay it all unfolds in front of me as if it were a part of some design the only natural progression that could happen there was no other way